(For more context, do check out my previous blog post on ‘Not here not there’ if you have not.)
Why am I always average, or ‘not here not there’?
I am guessing that you are in the same situation as I am, and we know how frustrating it is.
One day, as I was browsing the Internet, I came across this phrase and suddenly, something snapped in my brain. I understood why I was always ‘not here not there’.
‘Settle for more’.
Did something click? I realized that I achieve lesser than others because I settled for less and they settled for more. A prime example would be a science project I had to do back in secondary school. My partner and I had to collect experimental results and write a report. Our experimental results were slightly less than ideal (based on theory and expected trends cough cough). I was going to go ahead and write the report anyways because our experimental results were about there. But my partner insisted that we re-run the experiment, which we eventually did. Well, I really hated having to do double the work for a slight improvement but we got near full marks for this project. I guess this is what differentiates someone who does well and someone who does very well. Do you have a similar story? (If it did not click earlier, did it click now?)
So, how can I achieve, you may ask. Put in more effort.
If you are not like me, it would probably work. If you are like me, your brain would have blanked out and rejected that idea. What’s the point of putting in more effort for a slight improvement? (My very non-politically correct thought)
I came to realise that I am always ‘not here not there’ because I only want to put in enough effort. I put in the effort when I think that it is worth it. I never put in effort just for small improvements. And this has kept me in what others may perceive as ‘second tier’. It has also brought much frustration because I was not entirely aware of it.
Now that, we are more aware of why we feel frustrated, I’m sure that we will not feel as frustrated in the future. But achieving is important, regardless of what your definition of achievement is. So, how can we continue to achieve but put in the amount of effort that brands us as ‘someone who does well but never very well’?
It is in fact very simple.
Surround yourself with people better than you
Don’t be fake and only make friends with those people who score well in tests or hang out with your superiors only. Build healthy relationships with those around you and see the good in them. Constantly remind yourself about what is great about the people you hang out with. You are the average of the 5 people you hang out with the most often. Remind yourself about the good things in those around you and you may well absorb those good things.
2. Doing things that are challenging
Don’t be afraid to overwhelm yourself. Those like me will know, we work best when our schedule is full. We will only put in the necessary amount of efforts, nothing more and nothing less. Even if you give us one hour or one day, the quality of the work we hand in will not differ much. Therefore, if we continue to over-allocate time and energy to a certain task, we will end up under-performing.
For example, during my school days, there were two particular years before a major examination where I decided to stay out of most leadership opportunities and non-academic commitments. It is to allow me to focus on preparing for the exams. In the end, I barely achieve anything, other than slightly above average results (not outstanding, staying true to my brand). Do I want to live my life like this? No. Do you want to live your life like this? You wouldn’t be reading this otherwise.
We need to be continually challenged, even if the going can get especially tough at times. If we continue to move on to more challenging and competitive places and continue to be average, we are doing great!
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