I believe that it is very important to constantly engage in self-development to become a better version of yourself. For me, there are three things that I think about - past, present and future. I don’t think about them separately because thinking about the past may trap you in the past as you dwell on your mistakes and regrets for too long. Thinking about the present in isolation is dangerous because your actions and words may have caused damge to you or those around you in the near future, but because you were too caught up living in the moment, you did not spare a thought for the near future. Thinking about the future stresses me out a lot. Not sure about you but thinking about the future where it is wrapped in uncertainty makes it difficult for me to make plans that are flexible enough for me to adapt to any present situation I may face. Therefore, I think about all three of them together.
To do so, I often ask myself questions, deep ones that require me to think about my past and what lessons I can takeaway, think about the present and what I am enjoying or not, and think about what the future entails. I aim to answer such deep questions and give updated answers as and when I feel the need for me to do an introspection of my life. The questions I answer will be those that catches my attention while browsing Pinterest (I may edit the question at times).
I really enjoy answering such questions even though it may be difficult for me to craft an answer sometimes because maybe I just don’t remember anything, maybe I am not done thinking about a certain thing to be able to make interpretations of my actions and what the world is trying to tell me. Try it for yourself and see if you enjoy it! If you do, join me! If you do not, fear not and I hope you find a personalised way of thinking about life soon!
The question I am going to answer for this blog post is: What phase of life are you currently in?
To be able to sufficiently answer this question, I felt the need to trace the phases of life I have been through, before thinking about the phase I am currently in. The following will be filled with the phases I have been through and what I have learnt from them. For a more personal touch (feelings etc) on the phases of my life, you can read my other blog post here.
1.The Ambitious phase
During this phase, I was very passionate about gaining recognition from the authoritative figures in my life so that I could climb the ‘ladder’ of social status (defined by the 7 year old me). I learnt how to read other people’s emotions and to sense the atmosphere in the room very well. My hunger for new and exciting opportunities have been awakened and I have learnt how to invest my energy into things that really reward.
2. The Academically-driven phase
For this phase, I was really into studying. When I think back, I have no idea how the young me could concentrate so well on my studies. After this, it was really ingrained in me that hardwork is key to anything. It gave me a lot of strength and courage to try new things and conquer them. Working hard for anything I want became a habit.
3. The Having-an-independent-mindest phase
During this phase, I suddenly realised that gaining recognition from authoritative figures was not as great as I thought it was. I wanted to walk my own path.I became an independent thinker and have stuck to it ever since. I will not choose a road just because somebody else did or because everyone else will. I subsequently also realised that this thinking of mine applied only if I care enough about it.
4. The Trying-to-survive phase
At this point of my life, many many things were happening. I was struggling to handle academic, co-curricular commitments, family and my social life. My life was really messy then. When this phase was officially over, I really became a lot stronger mentally. I learnt how to be more choosy about what I show to other people (perhaps too choosy) and how to create a mental-health friendly routine for myself. I must say that I became more sensitive to my own needs and how to cater to them. I also picked up the habit of drinking milo every morning from this phase.
5. The Thriving phase
As the name suggests, everything was working as I would want it to. Life felt the total opposite from the previous phase. Life felt like a paradise. I was so blessed to have ever had this in some part of my life. From this phase, I got a taste of what thriving was and I was sincerely grateful for leaving the surviving state. I have learnt to never take the thriving phase for granted, and to stay humble and keep working hard for my goals.
6. The Directionless phase
Desperate to recreate my thriving phase, I lost all sense of direction in life because I was overly focused on recreating and not adapting to the current situation. To make things worse, I had no ‘life mentor’ to look towards, only some ‘life unmentors’ who pointed me in the wrong direction. From this phase, I realise how important it is to be self-reliant. I need to look out for myself because no one else will do so for me. If I think I need it, take it but share it. If I think it is correct, do it but with care. I have also learnt how important it is to plan things. Even if things don’t work out the way you wish it would, having a loose plan would give us some sort of direction which is important in keeping yourself on track.
7. The Self-development phase
Finally, the phase that I think I am currently in.
To find the answers to the many life questions I had for myself, I thought endlessly and read daily, until I had no more questions to ask myself and I am satisfied with the improved version of myself. I think this phase would be a life-long journey and would come whenever I have extended periods of time alone.I started to ask myself a lot of questions again, and it is time to start thinking about life again.
Each phase of life is very precious to me (even though sometimes I unlearn what I learnt in the previous phase). It holds a lot of memories that are usually bittersweet. Thinking about past phases can be easier than thinking about the current phase because each phase was like going through a tunnel without knowing where the endpoint is. It is difficult to even name the phase you are currently going through sometimes. For me, other than the self-development phase, I feel like there is another phase that I am going through but I still cannot describe it accurately. I hope that this post can comfort you in some way!
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