My answer is simple: being able to handle stress.
As many of us know, remedial classes are not exactly something anyone would be proud of because they are for the weak students identified by the teachers for extra after-school lessons, usually those who failed the exam.
Failing is stressful enough. Being singled out by a public name list that literally lists the people who failed exam because they are all selected for remedial classes, is embarrassing and stressful.
This was a period of time when I felt really drained. Tossing and turning in bed for about 4 hours a day became a routine. When my alarm clock goes off, my whole mind is in a whirl because I did not sleep well. I will then go through my daily routine, brushing my teeth, changing, making my bed, mindlessly. A pounding headache then sets in, and I am off for school. This was my life for about a year. I dreaded every single day.
If I could fast forward my life, I graduated with straight As, handled all my commitments well and established a wide-enough-for-me social life with healthy relationships. I would love to think that it was because of how I managed to cope with my immense stress,
It is important to be able to deal with stress. As we all know, stress negatively affects our emotional and physical well-being, potentially causing us unnecessary unhappiness and underperformance. Nevertheless, stress is unavoidable because it is our natural emotional reaction. Hence, it is essential to keep stress in check.
How I dealt with stress
1. Know that you are not alone
During what I would call the darkest period of my life, I felt alone. I could not tell my friends or my family about it because everyone seemed so busy and yet coping. I did not like the idea of sharing how much I am struggling to cope with my life because it felt like I was admitting defeat to my stresses. As someone who likes to persist and solve problems independently, the notion of depending on others emotionally puts me off and embarrasses me because it would mean that I am admitting that I am weak, I am inferior and I am not as good as others at coping with life, or so I thought.
I struggled through this period and fortunately survived and well. When I start to open up to close friends about my period of struggling, I came to realise that my friends were finding it difficult to cope as well. The problems I faced were unique to me but the stress that my problems bring are, in fact, very common. Instead of thinking that opening up about my struggles would be a form of admitting defeat, inferiority and a source of embarrassment, it would be better to think of it as an act of courage. It takes a lot to be able to admit your weakness, and reach out to others for support. I was very fortunate to have a close bunch of friends and family who were very supportive when I opened up about my stresses. And it actually helped my group of friends grow even closer as we each opened up and gave each other the emotional support we all needed.
Summary: You are not alone, anyone and everyone is stressing too. Reach out to them. It is a courageous act on your part and can be comforting for both your friends or family and you. It is a win-win, so try it!
2. Learn how to deal with your ___________ of stress
As I mentioned previously, everyone is stressed, about different things, to different extents, at different time. Therefore, it is very important to be conscious of how you act when you are stressed.
‘When I’m stressed, I’m stressed. How does that affect others?’
Stay tuned for more ways to deal with stress.
Part 2 is now out!
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